When It Was My Choice

Whenever i walk back down the road at night, i feel as if i'm back on that night. As if that walk is what could've happened. i could've turned around and nothing would be different.

Honestly, if I had turned around, I may have actually succeeded in an attempt. i dont know. part of my wishes i had turned around that night, hung up on hydra and them, and walked back home. Then maybe things would've ended sooner, or i would've gotten better faster. But, the other part of me understands that if i hadn't went to the bridge that night/early morning, i would've have gotten the help i desperately needed. i wouldn't be where i am today. 

but, maybe i wish i wasn't here still. maybe if i had walked away from hydra, i would have realized this was all me and it was all my own instigation. maybe then i would've been able to do it. when it was my choice.




Comments

  1. Yuki_03April 5, 2024 at 3:20 PM

    i believe in destiny, but not the typical one. i believe that our future is like a vast field, we always get to the end of it no matter which path we take, but that end is always different. we get changed and hurt by our path, but that is the beauty of walking, we chose. it isn't about getting to the end of the vast field, it os more about our paths and what we saw. some paths will change completely our journey, others not that much, so maybe everything could have changed, or maybe nothing.

    you chose to turn that night, maybe that is the path that you chose. regret is tied with us, every turn and choice we make, we might regret it, no human is free from that. but letting go and finding the path that we will like the most is what i like about choice. dont worry, your journey, no matter how long or short we want it, is still continuing, and who knows? maybe the end is just a few steps ahead.

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    Replies
    1. Saturn's SproutApril 5, 2024 at 3:33 PM

      that's beautiful. sorry about my vagueness in my entry, i didn't expect anyone to really read it.-

      I didn't turn that night, i went to that bridge and sat there until police handcuffed me and put me in a hospital. sometimes i wonder where i'd be if i had turned around.

      Delete
    2. Yuki_03April 5, 2024 at 3:58 PM

      future is weird, and alternate universes even weirder. my comment isn't much better anyways, im very sleepy.

      also, i really like your blog! really nice and beautiful. i might try to make one later.
      over here it's a bit late, so good night!

      Delete

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