Often and Easily
I just got out of (yet another) really bad depressive(?)/suicidal episode. I'm pretty sure it was mostly stress-induced since it was towards the end of the school quarter. But I still don't feel much better, even though it's now summer break. I cry often and easily. I am constantly trying to run off somewhere else and doing drugs to keep me away from myself and my brain. It helps, but I hate crashing; it's okay. I got into a fight with my friend A, stopped talking for a bit, and then resolved it. I still feel like there's something between us; we're supposed to be best friends, but something still feels off. But that's how I feel with most people I'm near. I still feel like nothing; I've felt nothing for a while. It's not horribly debilitating, but just miserable enough to make me consider checking myself into a ward, lol. Feeling nothing and crying about random things is odd, but it just means I don't understand why I'm crying when I...